Okay, folks, I need to know something. Those of you out there, my friends, who gave me lots of moral support when I announced I was going to study Library Science--was it because you thought, "Library Science? That's so COOL!" Or was it because you're my friends and so naturally, you support my decision, whatever it is? Now, I am not upset that you supported my decision. I like it when decisions I make are supported, and I hope many of you will continue to do so in the near future.

However, I have to ask about the nature of your support because, frankly, I'm having second thoughts. Yes, I know I've signed a lease, filled out financial aid papers, gotten a work-study position, etc. But I AM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS. Those two days in the sub-basement of Bobst might have actually done me good, because I had a lot of time on my hands to think, and the thought that kept echoing in my brain was, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

I admit it, the whole schmiel I wrote on my application letter: "My primary reason for applying to the Library Science program is my love of research."--pure bullsh*t. Yes, I love discovery, uncovering brave new secondary sources, playing archaeologist in the library-version of the Gobi desert. But let's face it, the majority of what constitutes being a librarian is looking up books and being courteous to strangers. In other words, helping people. I hate people, much less helping them. And the money to be made--what money? There's no money to be made in Library Science, or else everyone would be studying Library Science. And to get a good reference librarian position, I'd have to earn a second Master's degree in a completely separate subject...!

And yet, many have told me that I'd make a good librarian. I didn't ask then, but I need to ask now: Why would I make a good librarian? Is it because I seem like a total prig, because lots of people in different professions also seem like total prigs.

Look, I'm not making this sound as serious as I want it to sound. Seriously, SERIOUSLY (I bought birthday presents for many of you, and while I don't consider those to be binding contracts of any kind, I think they do entitle me, upon request, to a certain level of candidness) Consider what you know about me, what you think about the subject of Library Science, what you think about two years in graduate school studying Library Science, and tell me honestly: DO YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA THAT I SPEND THE NEXT TWO YEARS, NOT TO MENTION QUITE A BIT OF LOAN MONEY, STUDYING LIBRARY SCIENCE? Operators are standing by. As is the rest of my life.