COOKIE MONSTER IS A CRAZY SON OF A B*TCH...

So my 2-year old niece came over today. Cute kid, can barely talk, thinks I'm the coolest. Obviously, she is wise beyond her years. We watched taped reruns of "Sesame Street" together.

It probably escaped my attention back when I was her age, but I realize now that Cookie Monster is a total psycho. First he puts a cookie in a briefcase, but when he lifts up the briefcase, he realized there's a hole cut out of the bottom. His reaction:

COOKIE MONSTER:

Hey! Why me got hole in briefcase? Oh well, guess me eat cookie! Num num num num num!

(Cookie is gone.)

Now me eat briefcase! Num num num num num num num!

(Begins devouring briefcase from inside out.)

How me get in briefcase? Me eat way out! Num num num num num!

God bless you, Cookie Monster. You're like a furry, blue, cookie-eating id.