VACATION REPORT, PART TWO

THURSDAY, SEPT. 21^st

Oh, what a glorious day! It was packed full of fun activities. First we played with Molly’s super-cool dog, a part pit bull mix that may be the friendliest canine ever. Then we went to Pike’s Fish Market in Seattle, which not only features seafood, but produce, prints, magic goods, and comic books.

At Molly’s recommendation, we ate giant, meaty baos at the market. After that, we visited the main branch of the library, which is the most modern-looking knowledge center that I have ever had the pleasure of visiting. It has escalators between every floor, and offers breathtaking views of the surrounding city.

We followed up the library tour with fried salmon and chips down by the pier, then donuts from this hipster coffee shop. I have to tell you, I could definitely see myself living either in Seattle or one of its surrounding suburbs, even though I would probably have to get a car or moped. But it would be worth it. Compared to New York, it doesn’t seem nearly as overpriced, and both Molly and her dog by themselves make a strong argument for coast-to-coast relocation.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 22^nd

Having been dropped back at Bellevue on the previous night, we accompanied K.’s California sister to the airport the next morning. She was going back home, and it was sad to see her and her two kids leaving. I could be mistaken, but I felt that I had developed the beginnings of a bond with her oldest son, the aforementioned “berry masher.” Of course, they’re both great kids. I should probably add them to my list of people to buy Christmas presents for whenever I can afford to buy Christmas presents.

After seeing them all off, K. and I took her parents and her grandmother to lunch at this great Thai restaurant called Chantanee. It’s located in the heart of the Bellevue metropolitan area, where you can see the skyline being erected by tall cranes.

The food was uniformly excellent. We ordered red curries: one with salmon; another with prawns. The chicken pad thai was also very good. According to K.’s parents, the restaurant actually has a table and parking space reserved for the Ambassador of Thailand. I don’t know if he really drops in to eat there, but I remember thinking that he should, especially now that there’s a coup going on back home.

In the evening, we endured ugly gridlock on the highway to visit the Puyallup State Fair – the biggest one in all of Washington! I got to see cows and Clydesdales up-close for the first time in my life. Good lord, they’re huge animals! Then we visited the exhibition center to admire the homemade quilts, hand-fashioned works of art, and (my favorite) baked goods shielded behind glass.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 23^rd

I made my family’s recipe for a chicken and mushroom dish, which K.’s dad used to get from the local restaurant. Supposedly, the eatery used to make a great one, but the cook retired. I think both he and K.’s mom enjoyed my family’s version.

After dinner, K. and I, along with her parents, walked down the block to the site of this theater/musical performance venue. It’s slowly being restored, but so far, it definitely looks like it’s being fixed up nicely. On this night, they showed the classic film “To Kill A Mockingbird,” starring the late, great Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch. Seeing it on the big screen for the first time, I was moved by its message of how human decency can still exist in a place where public customs make people into jerks.

K. and I capped off the night by driving into a dark spot for some stargazing. It’s funny, but until you get out of the ambient glare of a place like New York City, you don’t realize just how many stars are up there. Between the movie and the stargazing, it was a pretty inspiring night.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 24^th

Our last full day in Washington featured K. adjusting some clothes for her mom, and the rest of the household watching football. I’ve never seen a football game on that early in the day. Then we drove the two hours back to Bellevue, where we stayed at K.’s grandma’s house again. We knew that we had to be up early the next morning, but the visit had been so great that we stayed up late one more time. At this point, why not throw caution to the wind? Anyway, I think we both figured that we could sleep on the plane.

VACATION REPORT, PART ONE

So K. and I have been back from Washington for about six days now. The trip was awesome, and I feel totally refreshed and invigorated from all that faraway travel.

As some of you may know, this was not the first time that I visited K.’s home state. I also dropped in this past New Year’s. The prior northwestern exposure, however, only made the second time around feel more familiar, and as a result, more pleasant. I could spend an entire post describing the best things that happened on each day of that ten-day trip. In fact, I think I will!

FRIDAY, SEPT. 15^th

It’s the day we spent traveling across the country, so in my book, it counts as part of the vacation. Chaotic check-in lines at NYC Kennedy inevitably gave way to a late Friday arrival at Seattle-Tacoma Airport, where K.’s parents picked us up.

But first, we had to endure a long wait for our plane to take off. Inclement weather had caused a queue to form, and at one point, the captain announced over the intercom that we were number 50 among those waiting their turn on the runway. So we got to watch movies: “X3: The Last Stand,” “Nacho Libre,” and “Poseidon.” I didn’t find the first to be nearly as offensive as I had anticipated. Meanwhile, “Nacho” was sporadically funny, and I napped during the start of “Poseidon,” which didn’t look very good, anyway.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 16^th

After waking up at a surprisingly reasonable hour (having regained three hours from east-to-west travel), K. and I spent the day hanging out with various members of her family. I got to drive her folks’ van from Hoquiem to Olympia, where we picked up K.’s niece and nephew. Then we drove back to Hoquiem, where I helped the aforementioned niece put on a play involving a homemade stage, sock puppets, and some fruit. I brought the house down when I made the farmer puppet turn to the talking cow puppet, and say to it, “Time to go to bed. You’ve got a date with the slaughterhouse tomorrow.” I laughed, anyway.

Then I took a short walk to some nearby blackberry bushes with K., her niece, nephew, older sister from California, and the latter’s two young sons. We picked all the wild berries we could, and then sauntered over to the edge of a nearby lake. The eldest of the two cute boys who are the children of K.’s sister mashed up much of the berries, which had been in a bucket, into a dark, bumpy paste with his hand. He looked very pleased with himself. Picking wild berries is a lot of fun, though I got pricked on my fingertips more times than I could count.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 17^th

One of K.’s California nephews, the berry masher, was celebrating his third birthday, so we all drove up to a state park and campground near Olympia. We ate hot dogs and cake, played in the sand, and otherwise had a terrific time. K.’s other sister, the mother of the Olympia niece and nephew, also showed up, as did some very funny friends of her family’s.

We took two vehicles this time since K.’s parents were also going. K’s dad has a second van, a full-sized model, which he picked up during our last trip to Washington. I must say this about the man: Although he is several decades my senior, he doesn’t drive like a fogey. In fact, before we left in our separate vehicles, he told me that I’d be better off not trying to follow him. In hindsight, I’m thankful for the warning, since he immediately left us eating his proverbial dust.

After the party, the Olympia niece and nephew went home with K.’s other sister. That left us, as far as little kids were concerned, with the California nephews, who slept quietly during the trip back to Hoquiem.

MONDAY, SEPT. 18^th

I think I spent the entire day playing with one of K.’s California nephew’s birthday presents. It was a Marble Race set, the toy where you connect a series of tubes and slides together, then drop in marbles. The nephew and I just about killed the morning and afternoon assembling our marble skylines, disassembling them, and reassembling them into an even more elaborate network.

The funny thing is, long after the California nephew had gone to bed, I was still at it, being egged on by K.’s dad, who appears to not need sleep. It’s not like he was putting down my manhood or anything. However, every time I would try to make some excuse to quit and go to bed, having been temporarily exasperated by the inability to make all the tubes fit together into a seamless whole, he would laugh, then say something like, “Oh, quitting already?” Sure it was all harmless, but damned if it didn’t prick my pride. So on I’d go, until I didn’t go to bed until 2 a.m. – west coast time!

TUESDAY, SEPT. 19^th

Today we made homemade jelly out of wild blackberries. K.’s mom showed us how to strain the berries into a bowl using cheesecloth, as the jar lids were being sterilized in a pot of boiling water. Then we put the berry goop, lots of sugar, and a little pectin into another pot, bringing it to a boil. That, in turn, was transferred into glass jars, which had been sterilized via a hot water cycle in the dishwasher.

After sealing the jars of fresh jelly, we cooked them in yet another pot full of water. I haven’t tried any of the finished products yet, but I have consumed past jellies cooked up by K. and/or her mom, and they have all been universally awesome. In other words, my hopes are high!

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 20^th

I think K. and I may have spent the entire morning sleeping. In the afternoon, however, we drove to Olympia to see K.’s sister, niece, nephew, and other nephew (who was born last January, so he didn't make the last trip). Her Olympia relations are all nice people, although K.’s brother-in-law is a real piece of work. I was showing K.’s Olympia niece how to play chess, and I guess she wasn’t doing as well as her dad would have liked, because he started impatiently barking orders at her about where to move her pieces.

Now I know I’m not the greatest chess player in the world. In fact, almost all of my immediate friends who play the game have soundly thrashed me on various occasions. Moreover, I don’t think of myself as the most competitive game-player, especially not when I’m playing someone whom I know is still learning. But K.’s brother-in-law, apparently, is of the “win at all costs” mold. How else to explain that he resorted to CHEATING in order to try and beat me?

What happened was: I got my pawn to the other side of the board, wherein I asked for my queen back. Suddenly, this guy starts talking about how that isn’t the standard rule in chess. “Get that stuff out of here,” he said.

Since I never exactly memorized the international rulebook, I actually bought his crap. But guess what? I looked it up, and exchanging a pawn for a queen or higher piece when it reaches the highest rank is, in fact, a World Chess Federation rule! Gee, I wonder if K.’s brother-in-law’s objection had anything to do with the fact that he was up one knight on me? I kicked his ass, anyway.

After that lovely visit, we all went to Bellevue, a suburb of Seattle where K.’s grandma owns a spacious house. Then “Molly,” K.’s gal pal from back in the day, picked us up and drove us to what appeared to be another suburb. It had nice bars, however, and reminded me of Brookline. We got together with some more of K.’s childhood friends, downing cokes and root beers (which were actually on-tap). Then we slept at Molly’s place, but not before playing with Asia, the awesomest dog in all of Washington!

PHIL X AT JET LI PRESS JUNKET!

Yep, you heard it right, folks! International martial arts movie star Jet Li will be in Manhattan next Friday to promote his new movie “Fearless,” and I am officially on the press list. That means I get to snap photos and ask questions of the guy who played Chinese folk heroes Wong Fei-Hung and Fong Sai-Yuk, not to mention the superhero Black Mask, in Hong Kong movies throughout the 1990’s. Maybe I’ll even save a few queries for veteran movie director Ronny Yu, who will also be taking part in the junket.

When I first signed up for the event, I was worried that it might conflict with my flight plans to Washington, which are on the same day. Luckily, K. and my plane will not take off until later in the evening, while the junket begins at 11:15 A.M. Plenty of time for me to (hopefully) ask a good question or two. Here’s a possibility: Why did you make that piece of shit “The One?”

I need to share one more bit of good fortune having to do with the junket, then I promise to shut up. Since I need to see the movie in order to properly ask either Jet Li or Ronny Yu about it, I get to attend a free press screening of “Fearless” next Wednesday. It’s supposed to be in a movie theater, which will probably provide a better viewing experience than my laptop computer. Hopefully, I’ll like it, but even if I don’t, I promise to show class and not berate the filmmaker or star, who could easily kick my ass, with any flaws I perceive.

Hmm. While I’m at it, maybe I can write a quick version of the eventual article up for aintitcoolnews.com.

CRIME TIME AROUND NOONTIME

A week ago, I was the only staff reporter on-hand, so when the call came in about an attempted murder up the road, I was the guy who answered it.

The suspect was an accountant named Marilyn Pulaski, who apparently had a history of not getting along with her mother. Around noontime of last Friday, for whatever reason, she snapped, and grabbed the aforementioned matriarch off the street, dragging her into their office on the corner of 69^th St. & Maurice Ave.

Once inside, Marilyn stabbed her mother in the head, arms, and legs with a pair of scissors.

The mother’s screams were heard up and down the block, drawing the attention of passerbys and business owners. One of them happened to be a friend of our office manager, which is why our publication was the first at the scene, as well as the only newspaper in the entire city to have photos of the stabbing site.

Yes, I took those photos. The blood still looked fresh when I got there, and cops were waiting for the forensics team to show up and start collecting evidence. One of the police officers on-hand restricted me to about five feet from the doorway, despite my press pass. I totally acquiesced, figuring that they couldn’t risk having some reporter potentially mussing up their crime scene, even with Marilyn in custody.

A few minutes later, my publisher showed up, and said that today would be a good day to teach me the ropes about crime journalism. And so, for the next hour, we walked up and down the nearby streets, talking to anyone we could find. We asked people what drew them out from their offices or industrial shops. Did they hear screaming? Did they know Marilyn Pulaski or her mom? Had they ever seen the pair argue? How long have they had that office in the neighborhood?

One clue led to another, and before long, the puzzle that had been the strained relationship between a mother and daughter began taking shape. Another puzzle began to form before our eyes as well, that of an unbalanced psyche - Marilyn's - possibly wracked by drugs, alcohol, or brain disease. We heard tales about how she displayed odd behavior, would be seen talking to no one in particular, laughing and screaming without provocation.

My publisher gave me a lift back to the office, where I called the person who gave us our hint in the first place, then DCPI, the NYC Police Department’s equivalent of PR. The latter call yielded something new: Someone else might have witnessed crazed Marilyn snatching her mother off the street. That afternoon, I ended up canvassing the crime scene yet again, this time trying to find out the identity of this third party.

I wish I could say that all my legwork yielded the scoop of my young career. However, that aforementioned witness was already at the 108^th Precinct, and no one I spoke to had anything beyond vague details to share about her. Nevertheless, I learned a lot about crime journalism on that fateful afternoon, and with the world being what it is, I’ll probably get a chance to hone those skills real soon.

WHY LEAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD, EVER?

In honor of Labor Day, I thought I would write something honoring the men and women who make up our country’s food industry. But then I thought about it, and realized that I don’t really know anything about our country’s food industry, save the local shops and restaurants where I occasionally buy my food. Then I thought about it some more, and came to the conclusion that I didn’t really want to “work” on Labor Day, it being a holiday and all.

So instead, here’s a list of places to get great food located near where K. and I live. Happy Labor Day, everybody!

FOR MEAT: MARIO & SONS MEAT MARKET, 662 Metropolitan Ave. If you’re looking for great quality meat, this place is your best bet. In the case of certain things, such as bacon, they’re actually cheaper than the non-sale price at the supermarket down the block. Sure, it took a while for the butcher to warm up to us, and his artiste attitude towards his work can still be off-putting at times. But you can’t beat his beef, pork, or sausage. Too bad he’s religious; his shop is never open on Sundays.

FOR PRODUCE: THE FARMER’S MARKET, McCarren Park. For nine months out of the year, you can drop by on Saturday mornings for fresh fruit, vegetables, and Ronnybrook Farms dairy. What’s even better, if the weather is good, you can sit in the grass next to the food tents, listen to live music, and watch small children and dogs running back and forth. Finally, it’s a great walk, definitely worth taking once in a while.

FOR MOZZERELLA: TEDONE LATTICINI, 597 Metropolitan Ave. One of the best examples of this essential cheese comes from this modest-looking shop, which doesn’t even have a sign above the door. But if you’ve ever tasted their fresh mozzarella, sold in large balls sealed up in plastic containers, you’d remember the location. The elderly shopkeeper and cheese-maker, beaming with pride from behind a counter that displays her wares, positively dares you to take umbrage at the price, or the lack of any indicators for what’s what. Go ahead and walk out if your courage fails. You’ll be replaced by plenty of other neighborhood cheese connouseurs, who wouldn’t dream of buying the first ingredient for their mozzarella, basil, and tomato salad anywhere else.

FOR BREAD: NAPOLI BAKERY, 616 Metropolitan Ave. They sell crusty Italian loaves that put supermarket equivalents to shame. I personally recommend their sourdough rolls, which don’t necessarily taste anything like authentic sourdough, but are fresh and wonderful in their own way. Some advice: Don’t wait until after 6 p.m. to pick up some bread for dinner, or the only thing left might be the wheat biscuits, quite possibly the most inedible form of bread I have ever encountered.

MISC. SNACKING:

FOR PIZZA: Turn off Metropolitan Ave. at just about any crosswalk, and you’re likely to bump into a pizza place. I’ve tried three of them so far, and none have disappointed.

FOR BURRITOS: EL LOCO BURRITO, next to Satchmo’s on Graham Ave. I don’t remember the exact address of this tasty restaurante. I suppose I could go take a walk and find out, but remember, I’m into that whole “Not doing too much work on Labor Day” thing.

FOR BAGELS: THE BAGEL STORE, 754 Metropolitan Ave. Their French toast bagels, something I’ve never had anywhere else, are terrific. Indulge in cream cheese with yours.

FOR CARROT CAKE: SETTEPANI INC., 602 Lorimer St. Generous slices, very reasonably-priced.

FOR GELATO: A place called FORTUNATO BROTHERS on 289 Manhattan Ave has better gelato than some heavily-hyped Italian pastry shops in Manhattan. I personally recommend the chocolate, lemon, and tiramisu flavors. They also have a very attractive and comfortable dine-in seating area. It’s almost ironic that this pastelleria has a big glass display window for their cheesecakes, but that stuff isn’t nearly as good as their gelato. What’s next, we discover that the Fortunato Brothers are all women?

Before signing off, I just want to point out that if not for my girlfriend K., I doubt I would have discovered many of these places. Thanks go out to her. By the way, did I mention that everything is within walking distance to where she and I live? It’s ideal for folks like me, who spend Labor Day writing blog entries about food, but who don’t want to work too hard.