HAPPY LABOR DAY!

So I turn on the T.V. the other night, and the first thing I see is the news. Guess what’s the lead story in the 11 o’clock edition? Police shooting in Brooklyn. Some scuzz-bucket attacks an officer with a knife, manages to stab him before the officer whips out his gun and blasts him. Seems pretty cut and dry, wouldn’t you say? Whack-job attacks cop, eats bullet. Even Al Sharpton would’ve had no problem with it—as long as the stabber wasn’t black.

Then why all the media attention? I find it hard to believe, with the United States on the brink of declaring war on Iraq, that the most pressing news item of the day is a police officer doing his job. I worked in Barnes & Noble for a year back in Miami. I didn’t make the 11 o’clock every time I rang up a customer. Of course, Channel 5 news made sure to note that this is the FOURTH time this week a cop has shot down a perpetrator.

I think I see what’s going on here. The good folks at Channel 5 News (not to mention the other news shows, which also gave the incident unnecessary importance) were trying to warn criminals: Don’t even TRY to break the law, *ssholes! The cops’ve already chalked up four this week, and they’re more eager to add notches than Pavorotti to his belt after a big meal! See? The media’s just trying to help the cops.

I suppose that could be the truth. ABC is about to do another season of that show where desperate chicks compete to marry some rich guy, so I guess anything’s possible. But more likely, the news shows were preying on certain ethnic groups’ beliefs, that all cops are trigger-happy Charles Bronson types.

And that, of course, isn’t true. Sure, there are bad cops out there, such as Volpe, Suarez, and those other latent homosexuals who brutalized Abner Louima. Not to mention disgraced ex-cop Joseph Gray. Whatever bar you’re sitting in right now, Joe, not only should you have apologized to the fragmented remains of that family you obliterated, you should’ve also expressed remorse for not being able to eat your gun like a good Roman soldier.

Meanwhile, just as cops aren’t all bad, not all of them walk on the side of angels, either. Look up the old Rodney King case, or… uh, go rent “Strange Days.” But in a situation such as the kind reported yesterday, we need as much clarification as a window in Howard Hughes’ bedroom (I imagine any windows there would be pretty clear.) The cop who got stabbed was responding to reports of a domestic disturbance. Use the old hardwood rules; think of him as a ref. It does not matter if the people creating the disturbance did not think of it as a disturbance. You do not argue the ref’s call. Certainly, you do not go at him with a knife.

Apparently, a few nights ago in Brooklyn, not only did the ref toss one of the players from the game. He tossed him from the league; he tossed him from the sport. In the end, however, the ref was just doing his job. The matter should have been left alone. Maybe T.V. networks will practice more restraint once those desperate bachelorettes return.