I THOUGHT ‘NAPOLEON DYNAMITE’ WAS OKAY—GOD!

It’s a sweet little film, worthy of its cult status. The filmmakers probably used a real house, a real school, and real outdoor settings in Idaho. Combine these aspects with lots of static camera shots, and the movie reminded me very much of the films of Hal Hartley, though it never matches the epic feel of Hartley’s 1997 masterpiece about social outcasts, "Henry Fool."

While "Napoleon Dynamite" and the films of Hartley concern themselves with poor, white, dysfunctional misfits struggling to find their place in the world, the former is a much gentler film that everyone can enjoy. The main characters of "Napoleon Dynamite" are, in their hearts, nice people. They crave the same love and sense of belonging as the rest of us. They just happen to do jerky things like tell the girl friend of the title character that said title character thinks her breasts need to be bigger. Uncle Rico never intended no harm, though.

You cheer for these underdogs against the dark forces of despair and high school. Well, at least in the case of Napoleon, Pedro, and Deb, you cheer. If the movie has a glaring flaw, it’s the sub-plot of Napoleon’s older brother Kip. I appreciate the irony of Kip finding his soul mate on an Internet chat room. It is especially unexpected that his chat room dream woman turns out both good-natured and voluptuous, as opposed to someone who looks like Ernest Borgnine.

Maybe I am apprehensive towards Kip finding love via the net because of all the chat room stalker stories that saturate the news. Hot honeys who turn out to be retired FBI agents or bus drivers. Rendevous that end up on the six o’clock news. If it isn’t entirely creepy, it still seems rather strange. But I’m glad Kip got a satisfactory return on all the time he invested. God knows, I’ve paid more for less.

I might have one other problem with "Napoleon Dynamite." No, it isn’t the heavy 80’s-laden soundtrack, which is actually quite good. Nor is it the ‘wish-fulfillment’ nature of geeks winning one from the ‘in-crowd.’ I sense that Napoleon and Pedro’s victory is temporary at best, that in the long run, the high school experiences of bookish non-Heathers will remain difficult. No, my problem is how all the main characters hook up with somebody. All the main characters, that is, except Pedro.

Look at that ending again. Napoleon and Deb play maypole together. Kip and Laphonda ride off into Detroit, if not the sunset. Even jerky Uncle Rico gets a mysterious chick on a bicycle. But what about Pedro? He’s the freakin’ class president, fer Chrissake, and he has to bask in his victory with only his family?

What, the Mexican guy can’t end up with a white chick? Would that be too edgy for an independent film, the kind of property major studios would supposedly never touch? I can go rent "Much Ado About Nothing" if I want to see the token minority get brushed off by all the chicks of the ethnic majority. Heck, I can save a buck and just reminisce about twenty years growing up in Miami.

But at least now I have proof that it wasn’t just my imagination. See that, Dad? The ladies aren’t exactly banging your door down when you’re the token boy, are they?! Social alienation wasn’t a pigment of my imagination after all, was it, Dad? I know you’re reading this, Dad! I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS!!! YOU GODDAMN ANSWER ME!!!