IN LIKE A LAMB, OUT LIKE… MONDAY MORNING?

Called my dad in Miami a few hours ago. He’s been getting some wind and a little rain, but none of the merciless destruction and water contamination he expected from Hurricane Frances. By the time the storm finally arrived in Florida, it was already down to a Class 3 Hurricane, possibly a Class 2. It’s still spilling buckets of rain, though, and Frances is expected to linger on top of Florida until Monday.

WE MUST SEE THIS MOVIE!

"Goodbye Dragon Inn," the latest from Tsai Ming-Liang, director of 2001’s terrific "What Time is it There?" Opening in New York on September 17th. The link is here: Film: Goodbye, Dragon Inn. Who’s goin’ with me?

HARK HARK! TSUI ANNOUNCES HIS NEW PROJECT!

The link to "The Seven Swords," the next film to be written/directed/produced by legendary filmmaker Tsui Hark, is here: SEVEN SWORDS press release and casting announcement

Not counting his less-than-successful attempt to inspire interest from Western audiences (2002’s "Black Mask 2"), "The Seven Swords" will be Hark’s first attempt to deliver a profound message since 2001’s "Legend of Zu." True, "Legend of Zu" was a hopelessly convoluted flick with some inexplicably poor special effects (Remember the skeleton army?). But I’ve watched it again recently, read an interesting Internet article defending it, and I’m convinced it really isn’t the abomination many "Crouching Tiger…" fans declared it to be.

WHY DO I THINK IT ISN’T AN ABOMINATION? Well, for one thing, in a recent interview, Mr. Hark said that "Legend of Zu" turned out exactly the way he wanted, except for the special effects. Yep, if he could do it over again, he would get BETTER special effects, and MORE of them. Tsui Hark really thinks "Legend of Zu" needed more expensive CGI graphics!

I couldn’t believe that was the only thing he would alter. The movie also suffered from a highly compressed, almost incomprehensible plot. There was enough story for two movies! Really cool CGI-generated weapons were introduced, then cast aside in favor of bigger, world-beater weapons, which were traded in for even more powerful weapons. And that was all in the first 45 minutes!

"Legend of Zu" was two hours of flying Asians aiming their fingers at blobs. Blobs are no fun! There were only two scenes where heroes fought villains in hand-to-hand combat, and they were awesome! Unfortunately, both took place in the first 30 minutes!

I’m still not convinced that "Legend of Zu" wasn’t a creatively-misguided fiasco, but certain sinocentric movie critics actually praised it. The most interesting review I read admitted that "…Zu" was pretty convoluted, but argued that this was Mr. Hark’s intent. After all, the movie was supposed to take place in the world of the Gods. If Mr. Hark had made a film with a comprehensible storyline, or a structure capable of synopsis, wouldn’t that imply that the realm of Immortals can be understood by us lowly mortals? What blasphemy that would have been!

And as for his characters engaging in a very small amount of hand-to-hand combat, well, they’re GODLIKE IMMORTALS! Surely King Sky can’t be expected to dispatch foes the same way Batman does.

Frankly, I disagree with the essayist’s opinion that "Legend of Zu" is actually a misunderstood work of genius. I still think it’s mediocre at best. However, I sincerely want to believe that Tsui Hark had artistic pretenses when he made that almost unwatchable flick, and hadn’t simply lost his mind. I want to believe that "The Seven Swords" will be as good as "Time and Tide" (2000), maybe as great as the first three "Once Upon a Time in China" movies. But I certainly hope he isn’t measuring success by the volume of special effects he can slip in, because that isn’t the Tsui Hark I know.