"MUFFIN-MAKING MONDAY," OR, "MUFFIN TINS ARE NOT ICE TRAYS."

One quick blog post, then it’s back to studying.

In case any of you readers were wondering, yes, I am still taking Speech-Language Pathology courses during the 1999/2000 academic year. Also, yes, I am still surfing the timestream in my trusty time capsule, the "Mr. Peabody." However, Rupert Zwevoid, the extra-terrestrial visitor/ video store clerk who first loaned me the secret of time travel, insists that I cease my adventures by the end of the semester. There’s a very good reason why, beyond the most logical one: I am crazy. Someday soon, I will explain Rupert’s reasons for cutting off my time travel privileges. In the meantime, any events from 1999/2000 will be posted from the perspective of 2004, since I commute back and forth pretty regularly, anyway.

But enough regarding such mundane subjects as time travel. Yesterday (Monday, January 31, 2005), K. and I hung out and made muffins. Corn muffins with bacon! I quite enjoy baking, though my method leaves something to be desired. I don’t know about other baking enthusiasts, but my kitchen modus operandi involves becoming a whirling dervish of powdery ingredients, melted fats, and clanging pans. Luckily, I had K. to help me maintain focus. She suggested several brilliant ideas, like not putting the bacon in the freezer two hours prior to making the muffins, since I would then need to defrost it. Also, storing the unused cornmeal in one large tupperware container, instead of several small ones. Finally, she suggested that I not stir the muffin batter too much, since the finished muffins might end up hard. Unfortunately, by that point, I had already stirred too much, which leads to the next paragraph…

K. is definitely a better baker than me. She probably won’t read this post until after she eats one or two muffins, and maybe that’s a good thing. Because I just ate one, and good lord, it’s like a corn-flavored brick! Maybe I added too much baking powder, or too much cornmeal. Or maybe I stirred too much. It couldn’t have been the recipe, since I got it out of a cookbook my mom gave me for Christmas back in 1999, and everything else from that book turned out great. But jeez, these muffins taste like I baked them back in 1999…


Oh yeah, I should explain that second title. See, there was another piece of really good advice K. gave me: Muffin tins are not ice trays.

The muffins had been cooling, and it was time to remove them. I picked up one of the tins, then began trying to bend and flex it. K. said, "Phil, I don't think you should do that."

Me: Yeah, but... isn't that how you're supposed to remove them? You manipulate the tray in order to loosen them, then you turn the tray over so the muffins fall out.

K. (Looking at me incredulously, then...): I think that's for ice trays.

Heh-heh. Clearly, when it comes to cooking, K. is the brains of the operation.