Want to read the latest news which has me horrified, saddened, and enraged? Go to:

http://nydailynews.com/front/story/84105p-76808c.html

While this terrible crime was probably perpetrated by an isolated group of thugs, I'm going to generalize anyway, and blame the entire incident on ghetto people. In fact, I'm familiar with that area of Brooklyn, and its nearby streets are teeming with "Yo yo, homey" eyesore ghetto people. Now, I've always tolerated the presence of these wastes of sperm and oxygen. In fact, over the years, I've actually grown to love them. They constantly remind me how much of a superior being I am. While I am barely employed, with nary a practical skill, I can still glance at any ghetto person and reassure myself, "Hey, at least I'm not one of them."

Now, my personal definition of ghetto people may vary from yours. Ghetto people transcend all boundaries of ethnicity, height, or weight. However, they're often designer clothes wearing, gold-chain-collared, LOUD-talking mutherfuckers. Ghettoness is proportional to volume of voice in an inappropriate place. For example, I was once sitting in the library when some asshole practically jump-roping with his pants long-strides in with a cell phone. "YO! I BE IN THE LIBRARY!" he yelled into the cell phone.

Obviously, a ghetto person.

I'd write more, but I'm too lazy. Uh-oh! I hope I haven't caught ghetto!