A WEEK OF GOOD WEATHER, AND NO BADWEATHER

May Badweather, my much despised and sinister boss, was gone all of last week. Sadly, she will return to the office this week. Even more unfortunate, however, is that I must return as well.

She has not been missed. Ask around the techpool, and everyone will tell you that the past week has been the most relaxing we've ever had. Strangely enough, we still managed to get all our work done. Granted, we aren't total self-sufficients; we have Pete and XB to keep our pool on track. But the bottom line is, our two-headed management monster does not need that third, most annoying and monstrous of monster heads, Miss Badweather. By the way, her idea of shifts has been a bust so far. Meanwhile, the scorer's table is still waiting to chalk her one for a good management idea. I have yet to see anything.

And I still contend that her worst bit of inspiration was hiring me, a clearly-unqualified tech-neophyte. I reiterate: She will rue the day she gave me a chance for a better life!


THE SAUSAGE WILL GET YOU... IN YOUR DREAMS!

Had a dream that I was trapped in a restaurant called "Hot and Now." It may be a catchy moniker, but it doesn't make promises of wholesome cuisine. "Hot and Now" served sausages, hots dogs, whatever you call them. Does such a restaurant exist in real life? Who knows. Formica tables were remarkably clean, however.

In the dream, I was about to bite into a "Hot and Now" special when something in my brain told me not to. Instead, I took a plastic knife, slit the sausage in half, and turned one of the halves sideways to see what was inside this brockwurst.

There was an eye in the sausage. Smaller than a human eye, maybe more like an animal's; large cornea glimmering like a black pearl. The eye blinked. Then I woke up.

"Hot and Now" would make a great name for a fast food place, though, wouldn't it?


"LOVE AND DEATH IN SAIGON" NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT?

Those of you who've read my review of Tsui Hark's 1989 film "A Better Tomorrow 3: Love and Death in Saigon" know that I really wanted to love that movie. After all, it had an epic feel, not to mention a lot of commie bashing. Something seemed to be missing though. Turns out it could have been 23 minutes.

I checked on-line, and the Honk Kong/Chinese cut of "ABT3" is supposed to be 130 minutes. Then I checked the copy my uncle made, and it's only about 107! According to imdb, the American cut of the film is 107 minutes. I have the American cut!

I asked my uncle if he knew anything about the different cuts. His reply was along the lines of "I didn't like the movie, so I never bothered checking." Fair enough, but perhaps he would have liked it if it had been the longer cut. You can fit a lot of story into 23 minutes. In 23 minutes, Baz Luhrmann could butcher the entire Beatles' catalogue, in about 5400 edited cuts. In those 23 minutes, Chow Yun-Fat's Mark Gor character could learn how to stunt-drive and blow up tanks. Then the later scene where he stunt drives and blows up a tank wouldn't seem so silly.

The point is, I must now find the original, long cut of ABT3. I've checked multiple on-line catalogs, and it seems that any version that has the three characters on the cover, with a blue sky background and all of them in straw hats and sunglasses, is the 130-min cut. And say what you will about the movie, but that cover would make a damn cool poster. If anyone happens to have such a copy of ABT3, or knows someone who does, please let me know (Okay, I'm really looking at one particular person.)