A CALL TO HARM:

As many of you probably know, I have been suffering from a strange and terrible malady for the past two weeks or so. At first, my nausea, dizziness, and stomach cramps while on any kind of moving platform only occured periodically. Recently, however, I have been experiencing them nearly every day. I can only conclude that my condition is getting worse.

There may come a time in the near future where the pain will become unbearable. When it does, I may not have the strength to end things on my own. While I don't know a lot of you very well, I doubt that a lack of familiarity would discourage many of you from killing me if requested. I only ask that you make it as quick and painless an end as possible. Allow me to pass from this world with some dignity. ...Okay, after I die, you can do weird stuff to me. But only AFTER. Deal?