THIS DAY IN HISTORY!

2003—Phil X breaks from format to subtly encourage the killing of illegal immigrants.

IT’S US OR THEM!!!

In December of 2002, a Queens couple was attacked near Shea Stadium by a group of crazed homeless men. They beat the couple, then dragged the woman to their filthy shanty-town, where they repeatedly raped her. Most of the filthy homeless were illegal immigrants. However, not only were they filthy illegals, but long rap sheets for serious crimes already existed for them. Why were these filthy illegals back on the street, victimizing honest, decent, legitimate American citizens? Because INS red tape kept them from being deported. THESE KINDS OF FILTHY ILLEGALS ARE EVERYWHERE! That’s right. We are under seige in our own country, by filthy, illegal foreigners!

If you’re like me, you are now justifiably enraged. What is to prevent honest, decent, legitimate Americans such as you and I from being the next victim of insane foreign devils, who creep illegally into our fair land to crap in our streets and rape our women? INS ain’t gonna help us. On the contrary, the evidence clearly shows that INS enables these crack-smoking, South American-gonorrhea-spreading, non-English speaking lowlifes.

Only one thing can truly protect us: ourselves. That’s right, kids. It’s mob violence time. It’s time to take our streets back from filthy illegals, and all homeless scum in general. We know where the majority of these crapheads dwell: In our city parks, abandoned factories and homes, under bridges. We must form armies of angry, violent Americans, and sweep across this great city like a graceful hand. Enter these filthy dens for filthy illegals, round up the inhabitants, demand to see green cards or similar identification. If the filthy illegal cannot come up with anything, relieve the earth of his foul corporeal essence. This is the sum of my proposed quasi-military operation, which I dub Project X.E., for “Xenophobic Eradication.” We must show the illegal predatory scum that an attack on one legal citizen leads to the swift hand of death for them. They must learn that America is not the illegal immigrant’s playground. They must be taught to respect REAL Americans, or die!

Qualifications for joining Project X.E. are simple, but without exception. All candidates must have no prior criminal record. The reason for this is simple. When in the field, operatives of Project X.E. will NOT carry forms of identification. Should any operative of Project X.E. find him/herself detained by police, that operative will speak only in a second language, either authentic or made up. Said operative will identify him/herself as an illegal immigrant, with zero forms of identification. Said operative will have no prior criminal record, and therefore, will be turned over to INS. Once the field operative’s case is with INS, operative will most likely be back on the street within a week.