THIS DAY IN HISTORY!

999,999 B.C.—First recorded incident of woman hitting man with club for forgetting Valentine’s Day.

999,998 B.C.—First recorded incident of said man killing said woman, who had been estranged from him for a year. And that man’s name was… Robert Chambers!!!

2003—“Preppie Killer” Robert Chambers released from jail. He served 15 years for murdering former girlfriend Jennifer Levin in Central Park. Chambers contended that Levin’s death was the result of rough sex. “We were really into that kind of thing,” Chambers stated. “Well, I was really into it. (Jennifer) took some coaxing, but she eventually came around. Oh, wait. She didn’t. That’s why I’m under arrest.”

--Robert Chambers has no plans to return to New York, since he already took care of everyone on his ‘murder’ list.

--Robert Chambers admits to smoking marijuana while in prison. However, after smoking ex-girlfriend Jennifer Levin, Chambers admits that it was a step down.

…And time marches on!