I WANT TO FILM THIS.

Sure, its time has probably passed, and it does kind of resemble a Southwest Airlines commercial. But I think it has a quirkly sense of humor all its own.


TWO-MINUTE MOVIE: “Office,” by Phil


INT. Any small office in any workplace in any city in the world.

Med Shot. DOUG from behind. He sits at his computer. We hear a steady TAPPING sound in the background.

CU. DOUG’s index finger TAP-TAP-TAPPING away on the same key.

Rev-angle of Med Shot. DOUG with a bored look on his face.

INT. Kitchenette outside DOUG’s officette.

Med Shot. DOUG walking to refrigerator.

Med Shot from inside refrigerator. Door opens. DOUG bends over, rummages. Suddenly, he stops.

DOUG (thinking)

Something seems to be amiss.

Med Shot. DOUG does a half-turn, looks over at the sea of cubicles on the other side of the office.

DOUG pov. There’s no one there.

DOUG (thinking)

Where is everyone?

Med Shot. DOUG walking down aisle between rows of cubicles, looking left, looking right.

All the cubicles are empty.

Foreground shot. Hallway. DOUG in bg, walking faster, towards us. He turns and looks in each open doorway.

All the offices are empty.

DOUG running past empty reception desk.

DOUG running past empty dining area.

From inside a toilet stall, we hear a hinge squeak, squeak again, then the sound of a door slamming. The second time it’s the stall we’re in. DOUG yanks the door open, sees no one inside, slams it closed.

Medium shot. Kitchenette. DOUG is back where he started. He looks very agitated now.

DOUG

Hello?

Foreground shot over all the empty cubicles. DOUG appears very tiny in the background.

DOUG (Voice echoing.)

Can anyone hear me?!

INT. DOUG’S officette.

Close-up. He sits up with a start. He is back in front of his computer monitor.

DOUG (Thinking.)

Had I dreamed the whole thing?

INT. Kitchenette outside DOUG’s officette.

Medium shot. DOUG peers out from doorway, sees two co-workers, NICE SHIRT and BLOUSE, engaged in friendly chatter.

DOUG is relieved, walks over to them.

DOUG

My God, am I glad to see you guys.

Reverse angle. They stare at him strangely.

BLOUSE

I’m sorry, do I know you?

NICE SHIRT

Yes, do you work here?

Foreground shot. NICE SHIRT and BLOUSE turn and walk away. They exchange a wry smile, once they’re sure DOUG cannot see it. DOUG is left standing there, alone for the last few moments.

FADE TO BLACK.