THIS DAY IN HISTORY!

1897—A Leningrad academic changes cinematography forever when, filming his fiancee boarding a train using his archaic wind-up camera, he points the camera at them from an angle. This new technique is later discredited when the camera turns out to be a small poodle, and the academic discovers that he has no idea what a camera is.

2003—Phil X discovers that all one-hundred copies of the resume he has been faxing are hopelessly blurred due to a small flaw in the format.

2003—Phil X’s computer laughs at him.

2004—Phil X’s computer finally stops laughing.

2203—The finishing touches are put on mankind’s first colony on the planet Mars. There is a street named after each of the astronauts who died in the Columbia disaster.

…And time marches on!