Update!

Okay, here’s a synopsis of the past weekend plus Friday.

FRIDAY:

Did a stupid one-day temp gig at a brokerage house called Lebenthal & Something. Worked the switchboards for the brokers. I had no prior experience with switchboard phones, but I hung in there valiantly. Actually, I spent most of the day hovering over the switchboard nervously, looking like some bomb control guy with his wirecutters on the blue wire. The other secretaries were visibly nervous. One of them had to “talk me down.”

But all in all I had a good time. They promised that, if they need another temp in the coming week, they will give my staffer a call.

Spent Friday night hanging out with an old friend from my NYU days. Basically, we hung out at his apartment, where I mangled the Spanish language in conversations with him and his sister. I also did a bunch of different dumbbell reps, to see if I enjoy them. Yes, I am looking into freeweights. Yes, I am quite vain.

Got back to the Brooklyn House around ten that evening. Local video store was still open, so I figured, what better way to close the day off than by renting a few movies? For less than $5, I got Tsui Hark’s Black Mask 2 and Sergio Leone’s classic Once Upon a Time in America. That’s a combined 6 hours of movie for less than $5. I figured I could afford to splurge, after my day at bomb squad—er, the switchboard.

I had to have dinner, so movie night didn’t actually start until midnight. That means I didn’t watch the movies on Friday, but on the contrary, I watched them on…

SATURDAY:

Stayed up all night watching BM2 (Yeesh.) and OUATIA (Yay!) The sun was up by the time I was finished, and while I was exhausted, I had trouble falling asleep. I had Maggie’s party to attend in less than twelve hours. My clock read 7:30 AM, so I figured, I’ll just catch a quick eight hours or so, then I’ll catch the subway to Queens. At some point during that thought, I fell asleep…

I woke up feeling great. I figured, “This must be what the Star Baby in 2001 feels like when he finally wakes up—you know, when he actually wakes up.” Clock read 9:30. I’m like, “Cool. Two hours and I’m good as new. Say, why is it so dark in here?”

As most of you have figured out, I slept for fourteen hours, not two. I did some prolonged screaming, then did some quick calculations in my head:

Shower, dress = :30 hours.
Bus/subway/subway to Sam/Adan’s house in Queens = 2:00 hours at least.
9:30 + 2:30 = Midnight.
Midnight = Party probably over.

So I did not attend Maggie’s party.

Phil = Worst person ever.

Maggie, if you’re reading this, I goofed. I’m sorry I never showed up, but Happy Birthday anyway. Please direct your ill feelings/ letterbombs to Lebenthal and Something, the Chase Manhatten building in mid-town. There’s every chance I will be there sometime this week, and my wirecutters should still be in my desk.