Here's something from http://www.wizhat.com/christmas.htm

IN THE AUDITORIUM, CHARLIE BROWN AND LINUS ARE STAGE RIGHT, AND THE REST OF THE PEANUTS GANG ARE STAGE LEFT

CHARLIE BROWN: I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.
SHOUTS
Isn't there anybody who knows what Christmas is all about?

LINUS: Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.
WALKS TO CENTER STAGE
Lights please.

LIGHTS GO DOWN, SPOTLIGHT ON LINUS AS HE RECITES LUKE 2:8-14
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

LIGHTS COME BACK UP AS LINUS WALKS BACK

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

IT’S GOOD TO HAVE A PLAN.

Been a while since I posted something. Spent the week doing GRE diagnostic exams and making flashcards. From the diagnostic exam, I learned that I have really poor quantitative skills. I also found out that staring at a computer screen too long makes me sleepy. While neither of these things bodes well for the upcoming GRE, I think I can overcome these problems. Also, it’s not like I’m trying to get into the best program in the country.

I’m only trying to get accepted to one of the top ten programs in the country. SUNY Buffalo: great facilities, decent-looking program. Luckily, my fall-back school is Albany State. Not a top tenner, but it has the program I want and more-than-adequate facilities. It’s also a party school, so who knows? I might actually develop some of them social skills (Anything’s possible.)

At any rate, I’m giving myself six or seven weeks to properly prep for this Herculean task. Wish me luck, or, if you don’t wish to wish me luck, at least don’t wish me ill will.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Tsui Hark’s “Black Mask 2” hits video stores this week! It’s bypassed American theaters completely, so it’s got to be good!

TWA & MTA REACH AGREEMENT LLN!

Late last night, the Transit Workers’ Union reached a tentative agreement with the Metropolitan Transit Authority regarding a new contract. The proposed 3-year deal guarantees the union will not whine about money for the next 2 days.

WOULD GRAD SCHOOL BE GOOD SCHOOL FOR PHIL?

Reasons why I’m not sure I should get that MLA-accredited grad degree:

The “experts” (Bureau of Labor and Statistics, independent net articles, etc.) say that librarian positions will be growing more slowly than the average in the next few years. So, rather than specializing in Library and Information Sciences, a prospective library student should go for the broader Master of Science in Information Studies degree. The MSIS is also MLA accredited, but it’s more technology-based. It’s a license to design intranets for whoever wants ‘em.

Well, that’s all fine and good. However, my interest in Library Science was piqued by the chance to be a librarian, not a technology expert. So I’m not sure if I want to do this now, especially since grad school, from what I’ve read, requires a great deal of sustained interest on the part of the student. Can textbooks for building intranets sustain my interest?

HOW TOUGH IS GRAD SCHOOL?

Good question. I imagine grad school to be like undergraduate school, only much, much tougher. I imagine phone books’ worth of material to be read every week, projects every week, papers every other day. Is it really that arduous, or does the student forget the arduousness since, after all, he/she is immersing him/herself in a subject they are passionate about? I’d expect passion to be required for graduate school. I’m not sure how passionate I can be about studying Information Technology.

IN CLOSING…

But it’s stupid to let dark thoughts and daydreams freak me out. After all, many of you readers are in grad school already, or have probably pondered attending it. Give me your impressions/ horror stories about grad school. I can freak out plenty on those.

I like to think of myself as a man of principles, and I am willing to change those principles if a Tuesday night screening of LOTR is at stake!

I am officially shifting blame away from the subway workers’ union, to the MTA itself! I believe that if the MTA is indeed facing a deficit in the near-future, it has every right to protect its own solubility by denying workers a raise in the first year of their new contracts. However, the MTA has refused to open its books, either to the union or to the public. Consequently, the union argues that the MTA is just using the deficit as a smokescreen, in order to divert funds from the workers to other projects—or to corrupt MTA officials’ pockets. I now believe that the workers have every right to strike until the MTA opens its accounting books and negotiates in good faith.

Why am I suddenly vehement in uncovering the use of transit money over the past few years? As many of you know, I have been sick lately. I have found travelling on the subway extremely difficult. I firmly believe that my illness is the result of some sort of biological experiment conducted by the MTA. Yes, it’s true. I believe they have been using fare monies to finance this nefarious biological experiment. These experiments were conducted in the wee late hours, when fewer customers rode the rails. I believe I was exposed to the toxic substance during the summer. It incubated in my nervous system for several months, lying dormant until higher stress levels awakened it. I do not know what the MTA intended to do with their engineered biological organism, but my best guess is that it was meant as a weapon to wipe out homeless tunnel dwellers. Haven’t you all noticed how many more crazies are in the subways lately? Who knows? Perhaps some of them went mental after exposure to the bio-organism. I mean, some of them have severe problems. Alcohol abuse and crack cocaine couldn’t have done all that damage.

So side with the unions, people! We must know the true nature of the MTA’s nefarious scheme. Do not go gently into that good night. But if you are up that late, for God’s sake, don’t take the subways home.

The youngest victim of the notorious Washington, D.C.-area sniper held a press conference today. He is recovering, and says he cannot wait to get back to a life of “playin basketball and hangin out with his friends.” Doctors agree that the young man is well on his way to getting back on his feet and shot to death by rival gang members by the age of 15.

In other news, Phil’s internet access is due to run out in 70 days. He is looking at different providers. Can anyone recommend a provider? Cost is the only object. Phil does not care if the provider’s connections suck. Phil’s current provider—People PC—sucks, which is why he is letting his access run out. Thank you.

Call me crazy, but I think those MTA workers deserve their pay raises. Driving a train is a challenging job. Do I push the lever that makes the train go forward? Or do I NOT push the lever that makes the train go forward? Awfully complicated. Gives me a headache just joking about it.

My problem is, I’m going to have to pay $2.00 per Metrocard ride starting next year, for the same shitty service, and the same shitty trains. I’d be willing to pay fifty cents more if it meant improvements of some kind, but no. We are basically paying more for stagnation. Frankly, it’s ridiculous.

And now the MTA workers come along, and if they don’t get more money, they’re gonna go on strike. On the one hand, can anyone blame them? They smell the blood in the water. If ever there were a time to ambush the city, it’s now. But on the other hand, I think it’s a cowardly act on the part of the subway union. The economy’s down, college graduates have trouble finding work, and here comes the big bad MTA wielding their extortion scheme.

Does it really matter if they get pay raises during the first year of their new contracts? Plenty of people in the private sector won’t be getting raises this year. And I’ve heard the stupid arguments:

“MTA workers aren’t exactly the best-paid workers with the best job.”

Uh, well, there’s a reason for that. What kind of qualifications do you need to get a city job? Not a whole lot, I think, which is why so many high school dropouts want city jobs. Does the MTA really think that a job where a college degree isn’t even necessary deserves pay on-par with brain surgery or rocket science? Please! MTA Man: Find out which stop your sense of reality got off on and have the booth-guy or girl bring it back!

“But subway workers have to spend all day underground.”

So do I! Not because I work for the MTA, but because I live in Sheepshead Bay and have to spend most of my conscious hours on the subway when I commute. And Christ, I was making $10 an hour writing death notices! I actually made LESS than an MTA workers does annually, and I have a college degree. I tell you what, if Mayor Bloomberg ever needs scabs, I will be the first to cross that picket line.

“The fare hikes are part of the costs of bringing the subway system into the 21st century.”

Heh heh. Are all those Metrocard machines part of this futuristic subway plan? I have a feeling they are, and I think I know why the MTA is running on deficit. I go to the Avenue U Q-station during rush hour, and I see these two pristine-condition Metrocard machines standing off to one side. I use them. NO ONE ELSE DOES! There’s a line going out the door, all the way to Ocean Avenue, waiting to buy tokens from the booth-guy. Great idea, those Metrocard vending machines. How about putting them in neighborhoods where the majority of people can read English!

LIVE! MUTE! GIRLS!

Am I the only one who thinks of songs to sing to mute girls? Here's one:


I say eether and you say nothing,
I say neether and you say nothing;
Eether, nothing, neether, nothing,
Let's call the whole thing off!

I say potato and you say nothing,
I say tomato and you say nothing;
Potato, nothing, tomato, nothing,
Let's call the whole thing off!

Hey look, my comments are fixed. …Guess I should post something so everyone can reply to it.

Well, as most of you out there know, MTA and the mayor’s office are planning one last, desperate sitdown tomorrow. If both sides walk away from the table unsatisfied, there will likely be a strike next week. That means no buses and no subways. Damn those MTA workers!

So what options exist for those like me, who have been banished to the outer boroughs? Even if I got myself a bicycle, I’m guessing it’s one long-ass bike ride from Sheepshead Bay to Manhatten. Any other solutions? You bet! Mayor Bloomberg has made crossing into Manhatten illegal unless you’re carpooling with three other people. So if you usually drive into Manhatten, you’d better know people. What? You don’t know anyone? No problem! There are now phone and internet services that can match you up with potential car-pooling buddies. Meet complete strangers! Then invite them into your car! Hmm. You know, that could actually serve as an effective premise to a movie…

You’ve got this guy and this girl. Complete strangers. They carpool together into Manhatten with these two other folks. It’s a romance. There are hi-jinks. For the coup de grace, the other two carpoolers kill the guy and girl, then eat them.

I can already smell a sequel. But enough getting to know each other. Who’s ready to let me carpool with them?